'I fall to my knees...'

In Ephesians 3:14, Paul says, 'When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father...'

I may be taking this a little out of context, but it best reflects what I want to say right now. I have some serious decisions coming up, and not only about whether to move back to Oregon or stay in New York, although that's one of them. There are only a few times in our lives when we get to (or have to) make decisions that will have lasting impact; decisions that will affect career, relationships, family. Over the last couple weeks, I've been pondering a lot of these decisions. I told my uncle's friend, George, the other day, 'I can't imagine living to be 70. I'm only 22, and I'm already having a hard time figuring out my life! I can't imagine another 60 years of making these decisions.'

As I spend time trying to understand what God is telling me to do and what I feel best about doing, I take comfort in remembering everything that has already happened in my life, all the blessings and opportunities I've had:

I have amazing friends and family, across the entire country
I've been able to travel from coast-to-coast more times than some people even travel outside their home state!
I've been a part of amazing church bodies
I've attended a life-changing school of ministry, which led to the opportunity to work in ministry full-time, being a part of changing peoples' lives
I've lived in Oregon and New York (and a few places in between)
I've worked at Britt and seen and met more award-winning artists than I can count anymore
I've been on several powerful missions trips, including one to Israel (that was too dang short!)
And this is all just off the top of my head; if I took the time to think of every person and relationship and opportunity I've been blessed with, 'I suppose that if all the other things Jesus did were written down, the whole world could not contain the books.'

I don't want this to read as a list of 'why my life is better than yours,' or all the things that make me so cool. What I'm trying to say is that, even though I am genuinely nervous about what this next part of my life is going to contain, I can remember what God has done for me, and trust that he'll see me through this, as well. Shoot, I'd even go so far as to say that maybe I'll have a fulfilling and successful life when all is said and done.

Solo in the City

God help me, I think I just made a 'Sex in the City' pun...

It's been a couple weeks now since I made my first trip into NYC. Amanda recently informed me that I don't blog enough to maintain readers' attention, so I figured it was about time I got this one up!

My buddy Andy from the one and only Medford, Oregon was in NY for a cheese festival. Yes, a cheese festival. I didn't know if it was some little local event or what, but apparently it was a pretty hoity-toity gig. We're talking private parties, four-star restaurants, Cheese Monger secret parties... I think he said it was something like a $6 million event for the weekend. And yes, I just said 'Cheese Monger'.

So Andy and I figured it out, and we decided to meet in the city to catch a Yankee game while he was in town. He was busy cheese festival-ing all day, so I headed into the city early to wander around by myself. There are so many things I wanna do and places I wanna see in NYC, but for anyone who knows me well, you'll understand why making my first trip to the city by myself and just exploring was perfect.

The train ride to Penn Station from Port Jeff is about two hours, but being here has completely changed my perspective on what a 'long trip' is, so it goes by very quickly. I think a lot of people mistake 'living in New York' to mean 'living in New York City,' and they're two very different things. I live on Long Island; there are lots of trees, strip malls, and neighborhoods. I got off the train at Penn Station and walked onto street level, and I felt like I was officially experiencing New York.

I couldn't count how many blocks I walked up and down the streets that day, but it was a lot of backtracking, cutting back and forth, and general exploring. I think there are only two places I really want to visit that I didn't make it to: The Great Lawn in Central Park, and Ground Zero. Ground Zero is way south, at least 50 blocks, I think, so I didn't make that walk. And I walked for 15-20 minutes through Central Park and didn't even make it halfway through it! It's definitely the biggest, and one of the prettiest, parks I've ever been to. Can't wait to go get a game of ultimate on in Central Park and bring a little Southern Oregon to the city :)

My family has always really liked New York photography and landmarks, so I've been looking at pictures all my life of places around the city, and I finally got to go check them out! I was at Rockefeller Center (can't wait to go there during the winter), Central Park, Times Square, Broadway, St. Patrick's Cathedral, and Columbus Circle, not to freakin' mention Yankee Stadium that night with Andy! I also tried to find the public bathroom in the Marriott Marquis Times Square, which I've been told is the best public restroom in Times Square, but I didn't feel like wandering around an entire hotel. I'll make sure I find it next time, Steve.

It was a great first trip to the city. I went in with no plans, no friends to meet, no idea where anything was in the city, and no money. I feel like that's pretty much how my life goes! But it was great. And if I had this much fun just going for a couple hours to wander, I can only imagine how hard it will rock when I go in to do dinner and a show or something!

Living in NY: Top 5

It's been about a month now, and so far, here are the five things I've come to appreciate most about NY. Keep in mind, these are things specific to New York, not necessarily things I'd get living in any big city.

1.  Seeing family! Being closer to this side of the family has been awesome. I've had to chance to meet so much family I'd never even met before, and seen lots of other family who I hadn't seen in years. For the 4th of July, we had a big BBQ slash going away party for my cousin Ricky who's joining the Marines. I saw my Uncle Mike for the first time in 11 years. I met his son Michael for the first time ever! I saw my grandma for the first time in about two years. My grandma and two of her three living sisters were together for the first time in about 40 years! People were in tears when all the family started showing up. It was awesome.

2.  Live Yankee games. I can't explain how disappointed I am that I will never see a game in The House That Ruth Built. Nonetheless, tripping into NYC to wander the city, then catching a game with Andy, was amazing. The stadium is beautiful, there's no such thing as a bad seat, and I was in freakin' Yankee Stadium! I can't wait to go back for my next game (maybe a playoff series if I'm still here...)

3.  Every Yankee game is broadcast. On the West Coast, the only time I see the Yankees play is if it's against the Mariners, maybe against the Angels, or during the playoffs. Sometimes a Yankee-Red Sox or Yankee-Met game would make it on TV, but not all of them. Out here, every game they play all season is on network TV. Which means I get to come home after work and regardless of day or time or opponent, a Yankee game is almost always on.

4.  New York accents. I love 'em. And everyone here has one. That's all.

5.  Driving. Nobody calls me an aggressive driver, nobody gets pissed off and tailgates me when I cut back and forth. My driving fits right in on Long Island, and I like driving however the heck I want, while everyone else does the same.

Stained Glass Window Shopping

I didn't get to sleep until around 3a last night. I had some funky dream that kept me up, I woke up when my uncle got home around 4:30, and then I was up at 8 with a text then a phone call. Despite all that, I managed to get myself up and at church like I promised myself I would.

I checked out several churches online and finally decided I wanted to visit Three Village Church. There was really only one reason I chose 3VC as my first option: they had an updated, decent website. Maybe it's callous or a sad commentary on my generation that that's what I looked at first, but to me, an appealing website to me is indicative of having at least some young people in the church. Also, the fact that they have a hip acronym like 3VC (which is reminiscent of LW or 'el Dub' to me) helped.

Not being entirely certain on service times (that was the one thing about their main page I didn't like), I decided to show up for the earliest one I saw. It was decidedly the early service. I saw almost no young people, despite info on their website about 'College and Career' ministries. I was a few minutes late, which is sadly typical for me these days due to my need for a cup of coffee on the way to church, but I walked into the sanctuary to hear a familiar song playing, which was really nice. Apparently the church is in the process of looking for a new senior pastor, so they had a guest speaker, but he was very engaging and was easy to follow. That means a lot coming from me, since I've found probably less than half a dozen people that I actually like listening to as much as Garris.

There's a whole coffee, fellowship, bagel shindig upstairs in their youth area between services, so I wandered in there. I have to say, I appreciate a church that has a good youth area, because it reflects on their values, and 3VC has a very nice area. It's not extravagant, but it's clear that they want to give their youth a space of their own. I'd already decided to stay for second service to see if more young people showed up, but between services I was caught by Jon, one of the pastors on staff. Talking with him was great, I met several people through him, met their youth pastor, Bart, between services. All-in-all, I felt very welcomed.

As second service started, I definitely saw more young people come in, and started to actually believe they had a college/career ministry. The church clearly isn't very big, probably about the size of Living Waters, my church in Medford, maybe even a little smaller. Their services are a little more liturgical than I'm used to, their worship a little less contemporary than I prefer, but it was all very comfortable. Clearly a group of people who come to worship. I did use my phone for reading and note taking, as is standard for me, which is fine until it falls off my leg while I'm not using it, and everyone around me probably assumes I'm texting or checking Facebook (which in all honesty, did happen a little...).

After second service, I had the chance to meet a few more people, including the young adult leaders, and Bonnie. Bonnie is, as far as I can tell, a lady who's a part of the church. We chatted for a bit, then she invited me over for bagels and coffee. Bagels and coffee. Of course I went. I only got home from her house about 30 minutes ago, so I was there for a couple hours after church. I spent the afternoon with her, her husband, her niece, and met her daughter and daughter's boyfriend. It was great! After only one day, I felt welcomed and like I've finally met people on the island!

So, I think I've found my church. I've had some heavy things go down back in Medford since I got here, so I asked God to spare me from church hopping for the next two months trying to find a good place. I found 3VC online, thought it looked nice, and simply asked that this would be the church for me. I think it is. I was initially going to write this blog with the intent of asking what people suggest I look for in a church, or how they've church shopped before, or what helped them decide. But now I'm afraid my title is misleading. After today, I don't have anymore shopping to do, I only need to spend more time there! I suppose there are still things to find out, a very small number of things that are theologically important to me. Based on the service today, however, the familiar worship, the Bible-based teaching, the welcoming atmosphere, I feel very good about this being the right place. This may be the only church I've ever gone to where I've felt comfortable and at home without already having a group of friends to welcome me.

That's been my experience. So although I don't think I need to do anymore shopping, I'd still be intrigued to hear other stories of church shopping, things that helped, maybe some funny church fail stories, or ways that you know you'd found the right place.

Road Trip Guidelines

This is something I intended to write while I was on the road, but when I finally arrived at my destination every night, I pretty much just crashed. So now, a little late, here are some road trip guidelines I came up with on the drive:

• Snacks: keeps lots of snacks in the car. Buy a flat of water to keep with you. For me, stopping for coffee before I leave town is a must, and I always have Clif Bars or granola bars with me. Snacking will keep you going for a long time instead of stopping for food all the time. And if you're a smoker, bring extra cigarettes. Unless you're really casual or you have great willpower, you will wind up smoking more, because there's nothing else to occupy your time.
• Comfy clothes! On my trip, I was driving 9-12 hours a day, so I wanted to be comfy! Find the most comfortable jeans or shorts you own and put 'em on. Shoes that slip on and off easily are nice. And a light jacket, so you can drive with the windows down even when it's a little chilly, is great.
• Pack light. You're driving, you're not trying to impress anyone. If you need to look nice once you get somewhere, put one extra outfit in the bottom of the bag and forget about it. And make sure you pack extra underwear. The more you road trip, the easier it is to remember everything.
• Make a checklist. If you write things down as you think of them in the few days before you leave, it'll make that morning much easier. You won't be running around trying to remember anything, you can just check your list, have peace of mind, and hit the road!
• Music. Music is a whole subcategory in itself. If you don't care about music that much, you can skip this part:
• First off, this is the digital age. If you really feel like changing CDs every 30 minutes, and carrying around that huge book of CDs, go for it. But seriously, just get a stereo with an aux. in or an FM transmitter, and load up your iPod.
• You've gotta have your favorite music with you. I don't ever start or end a road trip without having some Ben Folds blasting, and I don't remember the last time I had a long drive without some Blues Traveler or Hilltop Hoods.
• You need a good variety of music to mix things up. Something funky-fresh to get you psyched up when you leave, but also some chill stuff for the end of the drive. When I've been driving for 11 hours, I don't want to listen to anymore Rage Against the Machine, I want to listen to Damien Rice or Micah Dalton or Elliot (yeah, check them out: Elliot).
• Make sure you have good speakers that work! Nothing can suck more than having your music crap out mid-drive.
• Bring new music so you don't get bored with all of it, but also bring good music you know, so you can crank the windows down, the music up, and sing along like an idiot! :)
• Know how and when to stop for photos. Unless you have lots of time to kill, don't stop for everything little thing. For example, if you see McAndrews Road, don't say, 'LULZ! OMG! There's totally McAndrews in Medford!' It's not that exciting. If you see Jackass Hill Road, yeah, stop and take a picture. I took a picture of every state line I crossed, which I thought was cool for me. Also, learn to take pictures while you drive, it takes less time ;)
• A map is good, but honestly, not necessary. I just drove across the country without printing out a single page. Like I said, it's the 21st century, get a GPS or an iPhone. Actually, just get an iPhone. It's a good investment for life.
• Have people you can call or text while your driving. Er... I mean, don't text while driving, it's not safe. Practice safe text! But seriously, sometimes having a voice on the line can make the difference over that last hour between a safe drive and nodding off at the wheel.
• For my last guideline, I'll apologize in advance to the ladies: sorry, ladies. There are two good reasons to stop: you're having car problems or you need gas. A good rule is to not get on the freeway with less than half a tank, but you can push that with certain cars. But you need to pee? Pee when you get gas. Out of snacks? Buy them at the gas station. In an emergency, take 30 seconds and pee on the side of the road instead of 15 minutes to pull off and find a gas station. Unless you have no time constraints, then stop whenever you please, and stop at cool places to take pictures!

That's it. Those are my ideas, after five days and 3100 miles on the road. If you've got your own road trip guidelines, put 'em up!

NY and Bust

The first (almost) week in NY has been... fairly uneventful, actually. My cousins, Sam and Sabrina, were over at Rick's house Sunday and Monday night, so it was nice to finally get to meet them and hang out for a bit. But mostly it's been a lot of chilling around the house. Rick works nights, so it's been nice to have the house quiet and empty at a relatively early hour so I can crash, or start working on something and not bother anyone.

My new store is - interesting. Definitely a different culture and mindset out here. And I'll just put it this way: I was trained very, very well to do everything according to standard and to make the customer my number one priority. So at this store, I look great! There are a lot of different and strong personalities working at the store, but they're all friendly and I have no problems with any of them.

Long Island really hasn't turned out to be all that different from Oregon. So far, I've talked to some random lady in Starbucks about Apple computers, I've sat and read at (several) Starbucks, I chopped up some firewood for Rick, and I still buy cigarettes from Indian people! On the way to Starbucks today, some guy's car died, so another guy and I got out and helped him push it, and people totally open doors for each other! It's practically the same place. Oh, and I brought the Oregon weather with me, apparently: 66º and sprinkling today! So much for the beach on my day off.

I'm really looking forward to next week at this point. Probably because they were unsure of my availability and training, I was only on the schedule three days this week. I did manage to pick up a short shift on Friday, but it's still not much. Without having work, and without knowing anyone on the Island yet, I pretty much just sit around and get kinda bored. So once work picks up, and hopefully after I visit this church on Sunday, I'll have a little bit more going on.

On a side note, I just ran out to my car to grab some stuff. I left my computer sitting inside, and started talking to some random guy about the area. See? This place is totally chill. The thing I have noticed, though, and yes, this is totally a shout out and props to Southern Oregon, we totally have the cutest baristas there. I'm telling ya, haven't met anyone out here that's as pretty. Oregon girls are prettier ;)

That's a week in Long Island, I think. Rick's got a huge backyard, and a pool, and a gym downstairs, so once the weather gets nice and I find an actual schedule, I'll have a lot more to do. And once I get paid and get my balance about the $30 or whatever it's at, I'll be making a little trip into the city, I think.

Hope all is well back in Oregon!

NY or Bust - Day Five: Columbus to Port Jefferson Station

Just so everyone knows, I am writing this from my new store in the Smith Haven Mall in NY! Of course, the first place in town I went to find was my Starbucks :)

As tempted as I was to spend an extra day in Bexley, by the time I woke up, I was definitely ready to hit the road. Part of me almost wishes something bad or extravagant had happened, so I'd at least have a cool story to tell. I feel like traveling across the country and not having any great stories to tell is a bit of a letdown. Well, except for that awesome night in Kansas City (thanks again for that, Rob). Oh, and I guess I did get to be there for my best friend having her baby. Maybe the trip wasn't completely boring...

Everything yesterday went really well. I felt like I couldn't get out of construction all the way from freakin' Pennsylvania to New York, but it actually didn't slow me down too much. And thanks to being in the middle of nowhere, maintaining that 'steady speed' wasn't a problem (no, no more cruise control, it was too hilly). I've honestly been surprised at how nice most of the states have been to drive through. Pennsylvania was actually a pretty state to drive through. Going over the Appalachians was very nice scenery, even though they're only very cute little mountains, barely bigger than Roxy Anne, it seemed like. The East Coast definitely doesn't know how to rock the mountains. But they get A+ for effort and still being pretty.

Getting into NY was actually pretty darn exciting. Of course, I had to turn on 'Empire State of Mind' by Jay-Z and rock that as I was driving. Passed through Brooklyn, Queens, and got a killer view of the Manhattan skyline! I got into town at about 6p, and made it the next 60 miles to my uncle's house a little after 8p... Honestly, the traffic on the Parkway wasn't any worse than in any other city I've had to drive through. But after being on the road for about 9 hours, I was ready to be done. At one point, it took me about an hour to get five or ten miles. Not fun driving.

Along the way, I had to pay a couple tolls. In Kansas, it was about $2 (yeah, Kansas has toll roads...), one in Jersey that was about the same, I think. Then I paid one in Jersey that was about $12, and coming into NY, had to pay $8. The only problem with tolls is you need to pay with cash. I'd stopped at an ATM when I got gas to make sure I had cash on me, but when I got there, I couldn't find it anywhere. I thought I must have accidentally handed the last toll guy my $20 instead of a $1. So, freaking out a little, I grabbed my change bag and started counting out quarters to pay the $8. I felt like a retard, and the toll guy was pissed. Luckily, though, I found the money laying on the floor. That was about the biggest problem I encountered along the way.

I wanna take just a minute to give a genuine thank you to everyone who helped out, or called, texted, gave me a place to crash (or booked me a hotel room), prayed, or anything else. According to Google Maps, the route I took was 3,189 miles. I just traveled over 3000 miles in the course of five days with absolutely no serious incident. No accidents, didn't get pulled over, never ran out of gas, didn't even so much as spill any coffee on myself. This is, to me, totally just one more sign that this is what God actually wants me to be doing.

What do you say to family when you haven't seen them in 11 years? I didn't remember anything about my uncle's town, or even what his house looked like. So, I found what I thought was the right address, walked up to the door, and saw him inside in the kitchen. He said, 'Come in, man!' So I walked in, gave him a hug, and said, 'Hey...' Haha! It was great. There's definitely going to be some getting to know each other and feeling each other out, but after 11 years I can just show up in NY and say, 'Hey,' 'cause we're family.

I called my other uncle last night, Mike, and I don't think I got a whole heck of a lot more than ten or fifteen words in. He sounded really excited to have me here, and couldn't stop talking about his son wanting to see me, or him coming down to visit, or me heading up there, asking me questions about the drive, and on and on. It was great! One of my cousins might be down tomorrow to have a BBQ at my uncle's house. It's great to be here with family, and I already feel like I'm part of the family - which, you know, I always was, but more than just a surface level. I'm getting to be a part of their lives!

So, today, I am taking it pretty easy, hopefully getting stuff rearranged in my room, and gonna cruise around town a bit to find out where to go, hopefully track down a decent church, and probably head down to the beach for a bit - yeah, as I'm writing this, it's 58º and cloudy in Medford, and it's 86º and sunny here... suckers ;) I'm sitting in my new store new, and already got a great welcome. It's in a mall, so I doubt this'll be my new hang out, as it's not conducive to sitting and relaxing. But the partners here are great! I told them I was scared that nobody in the store would actually be friends with each other, but they told me they all hang out all the time, and are apparently going to the beach at least once this weekend. So it looks like I may not have as hard of a time meeting people as I expected. Also, across from my store is a Cheesecake Factory and a California Pizza Kitchen.

So, since I've been sitting here for a while already, and I don't think I want all my coworkers to find out how much time I actually spend at work when I'm not working (not yet, at least), I think it's time to do some exploring of Long Island. I'll continue to put photos up on Facebook and keep everyone up to date on exciting goings-on out here.

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts, prayers, and support! I'm living in NY!